Strength or Weakness?
by ekes
Summary: What do you imagine when someone promises you power? Not fame, not fortune, but sheer power. The strength to overcome any obstacle, to hold it all within your grasp. What would you sacrifice? How far would you go to gain it all? This was my ultimate downfall. My one true mistake. And trust me when I tell you this, it's not worth it. Nothing is. *Self Insert*


**Hm, well. It appears the Fairy Tail archive is a bit short on self inserts. Though, I did read a really good one and that is what inspired me to write one as well. I know how hard it is to write these fics in particular, but I'm going to give it a shot! Heck, it will be great practice to improve my writing skills. Anyways.. enjoy. *Lame ass grin***

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**Disclaimer: Fairy Tail belongs to Hiro Mashima.**

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**Chapter 1:**

_**She who is reborn**_

What do you imagine when someone promises you power?

Not fame, not fortune, but sheer _power_.

The strength to overcome any obstacle, to hold it all within your grasp.

What would you sacrifice? How far would you go to gain it all?

_This_ was my ultimate downfall. My one true _mistake._ And trust me when I tell you this, it's not worth it. _Nothing_ is.

* * *

A figure swallowed in an attempt to ease the dry soreness in their throat. Bright lights roamed around the building the shadow was perched on while sirens fired noisily down below. As a light landed on the shadowed outline, a girl was revealed. It was sad that things had come down to this, a pity really, but _they_ were the only ones to blame. This was also_ her_ choice to make; _she_ got herself into this mess and she would get herself out of it the same exact way.

Without hesitation, a step was taken.

Then another.

And another.

...

A drop.

Falling.

Screams.

Building acceleration.

Heart slows.

And finally,

Nothing.

Silence.

Darkness.

.. Light.

* * *

"Hey mom, do you believe in reincarnations? Like, being reborn for another chance at life?" A young girl, no older than five, asked tiredly. She tried to stifle a yawn, but failed miserably.

A short and slender brunette peered up from the storybook between her hands to gaze at her daughter. Feeling uneasy under her stare, the small girl moved a brown strand of hair behind her ear before focusing back on her mother expectantly. She was snuggled up under the warm blanket, hazel orbs looking back up at her with only innocent curiosity. For a moment, the elder woman wondered why her child had asked such a peculiar thing in the first place, but answered anyway.

"In this world, a place full of growing magic, I wouldn't really be surprised." Her mother started slowly, "In fact, many things have been proven by magic. So, it's always a possibility."

The five-year-old gave her an unsatisfied stare. "That doesn't really answer my question, you know."

Laughing softly, the older woman only smiled in response. She closed the Fairy Tale book and stood up from the wooden chair; it made a small creak in which she promptly ignored. After gently putting the novel on the shelf beside her daughter's bed, she leaned down to plant a kiss on her forehead. Before she could though, the young girl surprised her by engulfing her in a tight hug. She was shocked to feel warm tears against her neck not even seconds after.

Softly, she whispered soothingly, "Evan? What is it?" When there was only silence, she continued cautiously. "Does this have something to do with your question?"

Bingo. Evan's form completely stilled for a moment, retreating quickly in the exact next. The girl withdrew, rubbing frantically at her wet face. "No. I was just thinking about dad.."

Surprisingly enough, this was actually a reasonable lie. Her father (if she could even call him that) in this world died two years ago. It would be normal for a child her age to still be depressed about his death. She kind of felt heartless since she didn't even shed a tear for him when he died. But then again, he had never really been at home long enough for her to get attached to him. Back then, she was also still very confused and frustrated about this change.

It's not everyday that you jump off a building in an attempt to end your life, only to be reborn in another. What she did.. Was this some type of punishment for it? Forgiveness? Those are the things she still has yet to figure out. Though, at least she has accepted her fate of being stuck in some magical realm. And it only took six years to admit to this. Maybe her tears were proof that she has finally given into this.. turn of events.

But things hadn't been as bad as first thought. Thankfully, she has a _family_ to rely on. Unlike in her other life, there was a mother and brother here to comfort her. Evan would be lying if she said they weren't precious people in her life. To be honest, she probably would've gone insane without them here. Even imagining going through all of this alone scared her..

Which brings her to another conclusion. Her tears could've been tears of gratitude, right? Heck, it's probably both conclusions. Thinking too much seemed to be a bad habit of hers. Surely Evan didn't think this much in her other life..? Probably not. That was a horrible life, she never had _time_ to think. For the sake of not having a breakdown in front of her mother, she ended her train of thought there. _Why_ did the mysterious being that brought her here forget to wipe her memories? It would make things _so_ much easier..

"Oh?" Her mother whispered sadly, "Don't worry, sweetie.. You still have us. Don't ever forget that." She then planted a kiss on the top of her head reassuringly. Careful not to make too much noise, the older woman strolled over to the door, stopping at the light switch. "Goodnight!" The light flickered off and she exited the room quietly, closing the door lightly behind her.

This was what kept Evan sane everyday. Call her weak or whatever else, but she loved these people to death. Take away her mom and brother, she is simply nothing. They are her strength in this lonely and strange world. Without them.. she would be all alone.

Without really paying attention, her eyes landed on the paper calendar on the wall near the window. The pink flower design calmed her for some reason. Then again, a lot of things changed during her stay here. Instead of blue being her favorite color, she is starting to favor lighter, pastel colors.

X772

The calendar read

Evan sighed and took a deep breathe, lying down on her back. Many things flew through her head as she stared at the plain wooden ceiling. She slowly closed her eyes. They would just have to wait for some other day. Now, she was just tired, so she would sleep. In only a few minutes, the pale brunette was already in a deep slumber. Confusing thoughts postponed.

* * *

_One year later_

"Evan, look! Hurry, come quick! You just _have_ to see this!" Nathan called from his spot in the snow covered yard.

Even with a wooly jacket and scarf, the nine year old boy was _still_ shivering. Even from this distance, she could tell his nose was red like a tomato. She was surprised his sun-bleached hair was still bright. Usually blondes would experience a hair dull this time of year. But maybe that only works in her _old_ world..

"_Evan!_" His enthusiasm was on high today too. Just what the heck was going on..?

Lazily standing up from her seat on the porch, she proceeded to go and see what he wanted. Knowing him, he probably found a 'cool looking' pine cone. If not, animal tracks. Nathan was always putting himself in danger by following large tracks left by who-knows-what. Evan was pretty sure that if they _wanted_ to be _found_ they wouldn't have left in the first place.

As her boots crunched against the snow, she carefully stepped over the snow shovel that seemed to appear out of nowhere at the last minute. If only she hadn't seen that.. Not only would it have been the biggest cliche in history, but Nathan would've had a field day. Evan almost groaned in annoyance at her carelessness.

"_What?_" she questioned, finally arriving by his side. "Don't tell me it's a pine cone.." Evan muttered under her breath. When she actually spotted what he was staring at, her heart soared out of her chest. In fear.

In front of the pair of siblings, was an extremely long snake! The venomous creature was crouched down in an attack stance, ready to strike at any given moment. Except, it didn't. A few seconds passed by and nothing happened. The snake didn't lunge up and chomp into either of them, it just, sat there. As if, frozen.

Lifting a confused eyebrow, she turned to Nathan. ".. What happened?"

The blonde scratched the back of his head as if in deep thought. "I don't know! One minute, I'm moving leaves over by this log for pine cones, but-"

"Wait." she halted him, "You were rummaging over here by a _log_ when you know that's where _snakes_ go for the winter? You _do_ _realize_ mom would have had a fit if you were bitten, right?" Her tone sounded like she was more afraid of their mom's wrath than if he were actually bitten.

He shrugged. "Yeah, yeah. Can I finish talking?"

Evan resisted the urge to roll her eyes and nodded.

"As I was saying before I was _rudely_ interrupted," he began, turning his attention back to the reptile. "instead of finding a pine cone. I found-" Nathan motioned to the snake dramatically. "- this. I _accidentally_ touched it and this happened."

She studied his expression to make sure he wasn't lying, and shockingly, his eyes held the complete truth. Eyes widening a bit, Evan turned to face the snake again. It hadn't budged an inch. What exactly did he _do_? It's not possible to just touch a snake and it freeze as if frozen in ice. There was something else..

Evan snapped her fingers causing her brother to jump slightly in surprise. "Magic." she stated suddenly.

Nathan's mouth went agape. "No.. t-that's not possible.. I can't make magic! I'm _way_ too young, right?! And what kind of magic could _that_ be? Freeze magic?" For someone who just preformed _actual magic_ he seemed pretty disappointed.

The brunette visibly frowned at his behavior. "Hey, be happy. You actually made magic, that will take me at least another few years. Mom told me you can learn magic at any age, you just have to have enough intellect and spirit power. Or well, something along those lines."

He paled, completely devastated. "B-But," Nathan stammered, "it's _lame_! I want magic that will make mom gasp in awe! Something like giant ice crystals or lots of big guns! If she sees _this_, I'll look mediocre! _L.A.M.E._" he spelled loudly, eyebrows knitted together in frustration.

Evan just blinked, taking in his entire ridiculous explanation. It made no sense to her. Other than the fact that he wanted to impress mom with something bigger, of course. In fact, it made her slightly irritated with him. Here he is, preforming _magic_ for the first time, and he doesn't even appreciate it? If he really doesn't want his magic, he should just give it to her instead. Not that that's actually possible, but if it were, she would gladly take it.

Annoyed, she turned around and began walking away. Nathan's eyes widened.

"Hey! Where are you going?!" he yelled, cupping his hands to his mouth.

"Inside, it's cold." she paused, "Have fun searching for pine cones. Apparently, freezing snakes in mid-strike just isn't exciting enough." Evan resumed her trudge, trying not to get snow in her boots.

The blonde scrunched his face up in confusion before glancing over at the snake. He honestly thought what he had done was cool, but it wasn't his.. dream magic. Is this what it's like to not appreciate something? Having Evan think he is a selfish brat isn't very fun.. Nathan sighed deeply, lifting a hand up to his face. He examined the palm, the back, and even his fingers. Nothing had changed. Was it really magic that did it or what? There was only one way to make sure.

Evan finally reached the porch, climbing up the steps slowly. Even though she preferred winter over summer, the cold really did tire her. Going inside and snuggling underneath a warm blanket seemed ideal at the moment. Maybe even add in a book. She liked books.

Reaching for the door knob, she went to open the door until a warm hand landed on her shoulder. Already knowing who it was, Evan turned around- only to find that she couldn't. Falling into panic mode, she moved her eyes over to the left. And there he was, with a mischievous grin on his face. So maybe it's not smart to use sarcasm on new mages.

'_Nathan,_' she thought darkly, '_let me out of this spell right now. It's freaking cold and if I get sick, don't expect to have a pleasant day. I can always resort to the taddletail option if needed._'

He grinned widely. "Ha! Look at your face! You look so mad!" Nathan chuckled, "Thank you for making me appreciate this magic more, this is great!"

If her eye could twitch at the moment, it would've. Right now, he's just lucky that she can't move because if she could, he would be feeling her six-year-old rage (which is totally not immature cause she _is_ just a kid now). So since she _couldn't_ move, she settled for an intense stare.

Nathan's chuckling ceased at the anger in her eyes. Had he gone too far? It _was _cold out here, she could be freezing. Sometimes he tends to forget that she is just a six-year-old girl. But heck, his sister sure is smart! Evan must get it from their mom.

Speaking of mom, his eyes darted over to the now open door. Their mother was standing in the doorway, sending him an accusing look. That obviously wasn't good news. That look was the 'explain now' look.

Nodding, he cleared his throat. "Er, hey mom! Haha, Evan and I were just playing around and-" he put a hand on her shoulder again to release her from the spell. "- she saw this giant bug so I told her not to move, but it's gone now! Right?" Nathan peered over at Evan.

Said brunette glared at him, then turned her attention back to mom. "I think he forgot to mention that he is a mage now. He preformed magic."

For once in her life, Evan saw her mothers eyes widen. "Seriously?" The older woman inquired in amazement.

The two of them nodded for once.

Her face took on that suspicious look again. "I think I have a hunch as to what it is.."

Nathan avoided eye contact, nonchalantly acting like he didn't know what she was talking about.

"Nathan!" Their mom finally bit out. "You don't have to hide your magic! That lie was so easy to identify, you always avoid eye contact when lying!" The short brunette took a deep breathe, crossing her arms. "So, it's body restriction magic, isn't it?"

The blonde finally met her eyes and nodded in slight disappointment. What if his mom was expecting better?

"That's great!"

His head shot up automatically. "Are you serious?" Nathan asked, disbelieving.

Mom waved a dismissive hand. "To be honest, I didn't think you would have _any_ magic. Same goes for Evan. You two are just so.. reckless. Magic requires complete concentration whilst you two contain none of that. At the moment, at least. I guess he was just really concentrated or determined."

"I thought body restriction was just one of the easiest types of magic. That must be why he can use it since he cannot qualify for another." Evan offered. It sounded like a logical explanation.

Nathan sent her a glare. Their mom seemed thoughtful.

"Well, there's that too."

The blonde slumped his shoulders in defeat. Evan smirked. She couldn't wait to get her own magic. If she _can_ get magic. Do they allow dimension travelers to have magic? They better! She was born again in another world, hopefully that is something she could look forward to.


End file.
